This psychics story about death

With all of the death and birth we are experiencing in the world, I thought that it would be appropriate to write about this on the 13th anniversary of my grandfathers death 8/31/2006. As a psychic his death for me has more of a story than just he got sick and died 3 weeks later. More than the added story of 9 years later to the day his oldest son being diagnosed with the same disease and living almost 1 year to pass on Aug 13th.

We make promises to those passing that we'll take care of someone, finish that education, take that trip or finally start living for ourselves. Do we hold true to those promises/contracts that we make? Those that are dying also make promises and contracts with themselves. They choose the day they'll transition and how. Some choose to be with loved ones and some like my grandfather choose to be alone. Would you be holding on to say goodbye to someone, whether it is for you or more for their closure? If you were to die right now, would you have regrets? Does knowledge of those regrets make you think of making some changes? Given that you have an opportunity to have some final words, what would you say? In death do you view it as a loosing someone or gain everything they lived and died for? Some people need to be mourned and others want you to throw them a party! I have my own views, perspectives and relationship with those that have passed. As a psychic one of my gifts is that I do not loose communication with the 'other side'. I am grateful that I am open enough to know that I still have my grandfather and uncle here with me when every I need them, but I too have grieved their absence in the physical just like everyone else.

So what is this psychics story about death? Well, we will need to do some time traveling back to 1985 where I was living in Wasilla Alaska @ 12 years old. I did not have an outlet for my psychic abilities and the internet wasn't what it is today for finding like minded people to talk about psychic gifts. One evening I had a clairvoyant vision of my grandfather before he was sick, the events around him getting sick, how I was told, to seeing what he looked like just before his passing. In the beginning he looked like my father did in '85. In this vision I was the last of my brothers and sisters to be told of his condition. He had cancer and the prognosis was that he had 2 weeks to live. Then I saw him barley walking with a cane and had aged 20 years beyond what my grandfather actually looked like then.

My grandfather looked so much like my father, that I interpreted it as my fathers death. I was upset and didn't tell anyone because being upset was not okay in my family, but more importantly I didn't want it to be true. In the past I had tried telling family about things that were going to happen, usually because I was upset about them. So when it came to pass, there was no compassion for my pain. So I learned early on that I was alone and had ONE shot at anyone giving me sympathy, empathy or listening to what I had to say. I wasn't going to do that with this vision because its about death!!!

Fast forward to me living in Blacksburg Virginia in 1996 and it's mid August. I get a call from my dad..... his father has cancer, had been given about 3 weeks to live. I asked if I was the last out of my brothers and sisters to know and he said yes. The ton of emotional bricks that hit me was overbaring. At this point I could not say anything about the vision. There was nothing I could do to escape the outcome. He was going to pass the exact way that I saw 11 years before. So I made a promise to the universe. I was going to quit smoking on August 31st or if my grandfather passed sooner. My brother Jared was also living in Blacksburg and flew out to Bozeman Montana to see him. He arrived on Aug 30th in the evening and also said goodbye from me. The next day came, Sat August 31st, I went to work as usual and asked the universe where my phone call was. I knew he passed that day. That night my roommate showed up at work still in her work clothes because when she got home there was a message from my dad. What I learned in my phone call to my dad was that my grandfather waited to say goodbye to everyone he needed to say goodbye to. For weeks every single day he asked 'Is it Saturday?' and everyone would answer no. One of the great grand kids got a call on their play phone from grandpa asking if it was Saturday..... So he was ready, and knew the day to pass. That morning my grandmother said yes, its Saturday. He passed in quiet and peace when the family left the room for the nurses to do what they needed to that morning (change his sheets, gown, bed pan etc). So needless to say I spent the rest of that evening escaping through lots of alcohol and cigarettes - since that was the last day I was going to smoke. I have a nice scar in my eyebrow to remember that night by.

In the next couple of days of arranging to get to Bend Oregon for the funeral I spoke to my father about the vision and why I never told anyone. I was able to place a yellow rose for friendship in the casket and upon seeing my grandfather I cursed my higher power and hated my psychic gifts because he looked exactly as he did in my vision 11 years earlier. I spent many years of escaping those feelings and psychic abilities by any means necessary. So 9 years later and a couple of months into sobriety I get a call that my uncle Don, my grandfather's first born, is diagnosed with the same asbestos exposure disease on the same day that my grandfather was and with the same prognosis. This time life is different for me. I had a group of people that I can connect with about my psychic abilities and can talk about them. I don't use things to numb out from my feelings. I had become a healer and sent him distance Reiki to help. He is stubborn and does not want the same fate as his father. I was fortunate enough to visit my uncle just months before his death and spend some time with him in hospice doing Reiki and just being with him. In August I was taking my Karuna Reiki classes which work with the Angelic realm and the soul when I got the call that my uncle would most likely pass that day. The group I was with and my teacher was so amazing with their compassion and we spent time helping my uncles soul make his transition easier. For that experience I am eternally grateful!

So with life and death we have choices. Our perspectives about an event can change. It is a tremendous opportunity to be able to experience twice such similar life exiting circumstances. I am grateful for that opportunity and of the healing that it has provided me. I also know that with the amount of asbestos exposure that my father and his brothers received doing construction work since the 60's that the chances are this may happen again and I am okay with that. I know that I will be there as a daughter, niece, cousin and healer. I have had many friends that have not grieved their loved ones and friends that have. I let their process be their own and when someone wants to connect or asks for help, I am there. That is part of my karma.

As a psychic back in my drinking days people would comment and say that I knew everything. To that my typical response was "If I already knew everything I'd be dead". Now my thoughts on that are when I know everything I will stop returning. Until that life... I am going to live life, messy as it may be. Make as many mistakes as it takes to learn and grow. And above all - love life with with every cell in my body, breath I inhale and exhale. Dance it out, sing it in, laugh myself to six-pack abs, let my tears nourish me like rain drops on a rose and share it with others!!!!

Our existence has an audience!